"Jab Alex Ko Gussa Ata Hai..."

It was an ordinary Saturday night - cold and windy with a slight drizzle. Warmed with alcohol and a late, late night hot breakfast of eggs, noodles, and sausages I went to bed and promptly fell asleep.

Before long I was woken up by some strange noises. I peeked out, hiding most of my face under my comforter and tried to determine what was making the noise. After a few seconds, I realised my room-mate Alex was muttering in his sleep.

Thinking it was only natural I was about to go back to sleep when Alex started screaming in a deep voice, "Shut the fuck up, or I'm going to kill you, you motherfucker!" Then in another, more mellow voice he answers to himself, "Ok, ok, I'm going to keep quiet, don't kill me..." The deeper voice returned, "I don't care, I'm going to kill everyone anyway..."

Saying that he stood up on his bed, took his clothes off, walked to his computer and turned it on. In the mean time I get out of bed to see if Alex is awake or if he was sleep-walking. I wave my hand, do the St. Vitus' dance... no response. I guessed he was sleep walking. I followed him to the sink, where he poured himself a glass of water and back into the room.

Back in the room Alex walked to his desk and took out the kodachi (Japanese knife, slighlty smaller than a wakizashi) he keeps in his lower drawer, unsheathed it and started swinging it in the air narrowly missing me! (I was standing behind him). I stare in horror as Alex laughs maniacally.

I ran to the closet to fetch the baseball bat and whack him but before I could do that, Alex had kept the kodachi back on the table and was making his way to his bed. I waited for a few minutes, gripping the baseball slugger in my hand, shaking in my slippers. But, as I lowered the bat, I heard machine gun fire, "put-put-putput-putputput-put-put"... it was Alex farting in his sleep.

I wore my clothes, pocketed the kodachi and went for a walk.