Dosco Expelled

You join school you leave school too young too late.
You play games and read books and wait and wait.
It’s all books and balls, balls and books but wait! Wait, or otherwise cook!
Sit and treat. We wanna eat! What? No meat no sweet so no treat! Then hey! Beat!
You don’t wanna treat? Then serve. Serve!
Serve - yourself - your - head - your - own - and - the - rest - of -your - house!
But always remember serve the shouts.
[Server!] [Server!] [Chapats?] Run get chapats. Cold!
Must get chapats! Everything else... hold!
Hold up your head, serve it first.
Once the bell rings, sit, eat, and savour your thirst.
You’re always thirsty and always late.
Toyetime! Playtime! Everytime late! Classes, P.T., what’s-the-time? “Late!”
Change-in-break! Change your books! Wrong books!
“Sorry Sir, I’ll just...” “Uh-Uh! No excuses! Hey, where are you going? Stop! Wait!”
Can’t go back to my house now?
Under your breath, you swear.
“Can’t go back to my house”,
What’s this place coming to?
You think and suddenly hear a bell.
The class just got over, you think oh well... swell!
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter; all the scopats windows I have to shatter, says the rain.
You’re wet, you’re cold. No umbrella no bag no plastic
Books-wet, CDH-wet and cold and finally you make it, slish-slosh to stare at your windowpane.
Then your friend shouts, “Arre...yaar change up fast, we’ve got a game!”
Game: Ball! Big ball small ball hard ball bouncy ball,
Suddenly you remember oh my god you had to make a phone call!
Phone call means chit: chit! Phone chit! Outing chit!
Store chit cog chit book chit good chit bad chit. How...!
Books! What about them! Notebooks Rough books.
Only wanna read library books but can’t. But, why?
No study now, read later! Learn now, why later?
But no. They why can’t you study now and pay later? You cry.
Learn? (Sob) study? (Sob) now (sob) why (sob)
“WHY? I’ll tell you why. For getting into a good college you blob!
But you only need four! Sir, best four. Don’t need to count the rest?
Their marks don’t count and why? Why the rest? What is the rest?
The ‘rest’ was very relaxing and short and nice and is equal to ten schools a week
1800 minutes a month 240 hours a year minus extra classes!
And - it - doesn’t - even – count.
Armed with education minus rest the college gates you shall mount
Forward backward but onward into rain. Rain.
Mist, breath, smokes rain. (Bell)
Bath! What? Now? Have you seen the time? Are you insane?
Hmm...You say rub out the sleep and step out.
Rain mist breath smoke! Chappals towel soap dish –
Ammunition You step out!
Cold. Very cold. Brrrr.!
You shiver and try to come back in but... bang! bang! bang!
It’s me, let me in. It’s damn cold out here bang bang bang Please I don’t wanna have a bath. (Pause) ok don’t!
FINE!
You borrow shampoo from the next room and inquire about your old friend time.
Ohhh my god, ooh my god has the bell rung?
Yes! someone shouts back its rung!
Damn you time, some friend you are!
You deserve to be hung.
Run! Run after your food before it gets cold.
Open up! I’m late aah! It’s open.
But where’s my... Form-mate won’t wait can’t wait or he’ll get late,
Some mate or he’ll get late. Late for dinner... so that makes you a...? Sinner!
Everyone angry with you. Cater-er, Headmast-er, serv-er,
Makes you wanna commit murd-er.
But how? Knife? Banned! Gun? Banned.
Wife? Banned! Tuck?... I repeat Tuck-your-shirt-in-and-pull-up-your stockings
The way you’re going there Ain’t gonna be no stopping
And change those awful shoes! How many times do you have to be told
Can’t you follow rules? Fit in with the mould?
Rules? Who rules?... and us?... Fools?
What are we here for? What do we do?
You learn, study and enjoy yourself now shooo!
Enjoy? How? By studying? By standing? “No!”
Its sunday stupid! Arre watch the 2-5 show!
Oh yes! Its sunday and there’s a movie but why can’t you go?
You’re gated! So stick here, study and do so and so and so.
Watching the cricket match you say “I’ve heard the new movie...”
“CATCH IT!” You’re interrupted and the fielders go up. The ball goes up, up! up! Up in the air
So if you were fielding at 3rd man you wouldn’t just stand and stare
You’d go for the catch... You’d jump over the wall after the ball.
But you’ve been warned. Take heed!
But you still go for the catch, you do
And you succeed... but......oooo
Well done! Congratulations! You’re caught! You’re healed
You’re school life is over, another letter is sealed.
Howzzat! You listen as the batsmen shout.
You glance at the umpire he shrugs- up goes his finger I’m sorry you’re out!
Out, out! out from the field, out from the gate... you’re finally leaving.
But one second, hold it now, wait!
Where’s your gate pass? Where? It slipped through which crack?
But then you remember you won’t be needing it cause you’re not coming back!
You don’t need to walk, the gate walks towards you,
It looks different like a spare,
Then you see the chowk and think,
“Aah, atleast he’s still there”
“Namaste bhaiya...” you want to continue but your vision and eyesight suddenly blurs.
He’s a collector like you... you collect cards but he... he prefers signatures.
So you think you’ll give him one not another’s like last Sunday’s but yours.
Your very own... and so you ask for the book and you feel its bark.
You open it sign and leave your mark.
You pick your bags and suddenly you’re out... Check mate!
You look behind you but he’s already,
Shut the gate.
Too late again... again too late.
The game’s over! You’ve won! And don’t you feel great?
No more boring classes. No more form-mates.
No more coffee and noodles. I guess you call it fate!
You’ve been expelled... but sadly it came too late... for had it been sooner and as much as you hate yourself for admitting it... you stayed on just long enough to get that lethal taste!
What taste? You wanna know what taste?
That taste which lingers and connects you to dust!
That taste which makes you enjoy your last bust!
That taste which like steel survives even rust!
That taste which is so sweet that return you must!
That taste which hits true and when it does, goes straight to home base!
That even you can’t help admitting, “Damn, I’m gonna really miss this place.”

Apurv Chandola at his best in 1999